Adam Dorsett “My lived experience”

My childhood was marred by trauma and abuse. This left me isolated and I found it very difficult to trust people. I struggled a lot at school and was left in the lowest class, only years later did I discover I had dyslexia. With my life in turmoil, I ran away from home when I was 15 years old and immediately connected with people struggling with similar unresolved traumas and difficulties. 
 
 Prohibited drugs were always around in the neighbourhood, and around my peers, so it was no surprise I started using drugs at a very young age. I think alcohol was my first drug. By the time I was 16yrs I had tried most drugs, but heroin became my ‘go to’ drug. It helped me forget the trauma, and helped me get through life. When I became dependent on heroin I started stealing and committing property crimes to support my dependency. 
 
 I was first arrested for possession of heroin as a teenager and I went  on to spend the vast majority of my adult life in prison. No sooner was I  released I’d soon be back inside again. Whenever released into the  community I was pressured into detox centres, rehabs, drug counselling, N.A meetings and even A.A meetings. Whilst in the prison I was coerced to do drug programs - if  you didn't take part, you wouldn't get parole. I did drug and alcohol  courses, relapse prevention, CBT, Group therapy, Drug Court, Think First to  mention just a few.
 
 I did try to take on what was being taught but I always felt something was missing, something didn't connect and didn’t feel right. What I was being told often felt false, misinformed, even hypocritical. They all concentrated on getting me off drugs, but being dependent on drugs was not my real problem. Heroin was my way of coping with my trauma, unmet needs and grim life opportunities – and nobody wanted to see these problems, let alone address them, they just wanted to blame drugs for everything. 
 
 While in prison I took an interest in independently learning about drug law, drug policy, and looked into harm reduction - I read all the books I could get my hands on. This gave me a very different perspective to the narrative that was being repeatedly thrust upon me: telling me I was ‘unclean’; telling me I was always going to be ‘an addict’; telling me I must give up every drug; that I can never be trusted if I ever use drugs. 
 
 I realised I had been dehumanised and damaged by this approach. So much harm has been done to me (and others) by this anti-drug regime. Realising the hypocrisy and damage of prohibition was like realizing the huge elephant that’s been sitting in the room all the time. Prohibitionist drug policies have caused me far more damage than drugs. I want to share my painful lived experience to help others realise why we need to end drug prohibition. We can do better than this.